don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
