I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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