I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
