I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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