somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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