We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
