he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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