I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
