If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize