Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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