win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
