Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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