You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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