after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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