Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You need Xanax blowdarts
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
