Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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