when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize