i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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