My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
