Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
