absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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