very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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