very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We had sex on a dog bed..
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
