I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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