I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
