i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
