I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
even my farts smell like vagina
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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