maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize