Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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