last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
