I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize