it wasn't lemon gatorade
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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