just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
