you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
