just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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