apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
