The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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