Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
