Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize