my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm eating all of the evidence.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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