she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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