mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
