The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
