it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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