Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
