I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
