kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
