she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I don't think brook has ever known best
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
