i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize