The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
