Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
