I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just invented taco cereal.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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