Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
