Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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