Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he puts the penis in happiness.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
