I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
