census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
