Im at strip club and am horny
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize